35 Ways to Annoy Alice Cullen to No End
by XxXEdwardlvrXxX
Summary: Have you ever wondered how to annoy such a cheery,pixie-like creature?Well,here's the answers you've been waiting for.
1. Chapter 1

35 Ways to Annoy Alice Cullen to No End A/N:This is my first fanfic, so please be gentle 

**Disclaimer-I don't own the Twilight series, Stephenie Meyer does.**

Make sudden decisions constantly

Tear up her clothes

Call her an Oompa-Loompa

Blame it on Jasper

Never let her do anything fun

Make the wolves plan violent things to do to Bella

When she goes to confront said wolves, have them blame it on Jasper

Cancel her credit cards

Have Rosalie refuse to go shopping with her time after time

When Alice asks why have Rosalie tell her the voices told her not to

Sign her up for the "Peter Pan" school play as Tinker Bell

Follow her around everywhere she goes singing the Barney theme song

Color her 911 turbo black

Blame it on Jasper

Make her shop at the Goodwill

Have Edward steal the paper when Her and Bella are passing notes

Have Emmett set her up a date with Mike Newton at a French restaurant

Get Newton drunk before said "date"

After the "date" have Newton try to kiss her in the parking lot

When she punches him out cold go retrieve the body and set him up in Alice's room before she gets home

When she storms out of the house ready to kill go hide in the woods while secretly video taping it

Put it on Youtube under "Alice's good time with Newton"

Post a page about it all over school

Post extra pages all over the school in La Push

Give the wolves her phone number telling them to call and ask her out "any time"

When Embry calls her at 3 a.m. asking her to meet him at the Taco Bell force her to go

When she refuses to go have Embry chase her around dressed up as a giant spider

When he has her cornered have him tell her that all the eraser bits in the world will join forces and eat her

When she comes home outraged have Emmett tell her he taped it all and will put it in Youtube

When she yells for said tape hold it high above her head and make her jump for it

Blame it on Jasper

Make Alice believe the Volturi are coming to check on Bella

When she can't see anything, tell her she's losing her power

Check her into a mental institution saying she needs to "clear her head"

Blame it all on Jasper

**A/N: **_**Yes, yes. I know I went a little overboard with the "Blame it on Jasper" theme, but hey, it's 2 in the freakin morning right now, give me some slack!**_

You know what, I happen to be craving cookies right now. I'm also thinking of doing another chapter. And to me, reviews are like cookies. So leave a cookie, fill my craving, and get another chapter!!!REVIEW,REVIEW,REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	2. Chapter 2

35 Ways to Make Annoy Bella Swan to No End

_I know I haven't updated in a while, but remember_, _I have a life, too._

_**Disclaimer-I don't own them, so don't sue**_

1. Buy her expensive things

2. Have Alice dress her up for three hours straight

3. Give her surprises

4. Have Jasper tell her she's too tempting and he wants her blood

5. Have Emmett tell her Edward did date someone else before her

6. Tell her it was Tanya

7. Make Mike Newton, Eric, and Tyler ask her out all on the same day again

8. After she tells them all no plan a date for her with all three of them on the same night

9. On the night of the date, have Alice dress her up

10. After she falls when all three guys try to put their arm around her, take photos

11. Post said photos on the internet under "Bella's night out with the Guys"

12. Make Bella watch a movie about giant spiders taking over the world

13. After said movie have Emmett dress up as a giant spider

14. Have him go into Bella's room dressed up as said spider

15. When Bella comes out of the room screaming "THE SPIDERS ARE GONNA EAT ME!!!!" video tape it and put it on Youtube

16. Have Edward tell Bella he's decided to leave Bella human permanently

17. Make Bella go shopping with Alice constantly

18. Put Bella in a race with all the vampires

19. Tell Bella said race depends on wether she stays human or not

20. Tell Bella the race was Emmett's idea

21. Trip her to make her fall

22. Trip her just for the sake of tripping her

23. Call her names just to make her blush

24. Have Edward refuse to come over at night because he's afraid Charlie will wake up even though Charlie's been working double shifts

25. Have Carlisle tell her she needs better insurance because of her klutziness

26. The very next time she trips take her to the insurance office

27. Make her believe the Volturi are coming to get her

28. Have Edward come out of nowhere saying "BOO!!"

29. After Bella calms down from said scare have him carry her through the forest at top speed

30. When he gets done have Emmett carry her through the forest at top speed

31. Have Edward dazzle her while she's making dinner just so she'll burn it

32. On her birthday get her a new car

33. Blame it on Alice

34. Have Jasper keep sending her waves of hypperness so she'll stay awake all night

35. The next day when she's insanely tired show her this list


End file.
